Beyond My Dreams

You're beyond me.

You're more than I could dream of...

You are so much more.

I'm Not The Best

I don't always call

I'm sorry texts go unchecked

I'm just dumb sometimes

A Summer of Science

This is my last day in the lab. Well, at least for this summer. We've (James and I) have made quite a bit of progress on Dr. Krebs' current project. Honestly, leaving today is a bit bittersweet. Part of me really, really wants to go home and have some actual vacation time, because I know that all disappears when grad school happens, but part of mewantsto just stay put and live in my new apartment. The latter is probably explained by Jennifer's closer abode to myself out here.

So this is our lab. It's actually a pretty small room but it's definitely has a homey feeling to it. The table to the right is our laser set up area, along with a cryostat chamber (hard to see) and monochrometer hooked up to a PMT (photomultiplyer tube; the blue box). James' fume hood in the back is very easy to see, as well as part of his chemistry table in the bottom left-hand corner.The furnace, which isn't visible in the picture to the right

but is visible to the left, is used to heat all of our samples. It can safely go up to about 1,200 degrees Celsius, but we usually keep it below 900 so we don't completely melt our samples.

Basically the point of this summer.... rather, the point of this whole project is to use PLZT, a known ferroelectric, and dope it with nanoparticles to observe a stimulated photocurrent

using a visible spectrum. To anyone who understands that.... Bravo. To the majority of those who don't, myself partially included, don't be afraid. This explanation won't hurt a bit.

A ferroelectric material is something that has an inherent molecular dipole. This means that the crystal structure is not completely symmetric. Because of this dissymmetry, if a large amount of these crystal structures are aligned the same way the material as a whole obtains different attributes. The most important is an electric field that is created in the material. This electric field is a direct consequence of the dipoles aligning in the material. When the majority of the dipoles are aligned in the same orientation, the material is said to be poled. So with the material poled and this internal electric field in it, one is able to stimulate a weak

photocurrent from it. The way this happens is as such. When a particle (yes, I said a particle) of light hits the material,

an electron gains energy. If this energy is enough to bump it into a different energy state (technically it's bridging the band gap between the conduction and valence bands, but this is an easier, albeit flawed, way of looking it), the electron creates a hole in the previous energy state. Due to the electric field in the material, the electron has a good chance of being pulled away from the nucleus it is "attached" to, with the hole it created before going in the opposite direction. When a lot of light hits the material, this effect is brought on to a measurable scale with many electrons going one way, while the absences of electrons are going the opposite way, thus creating a current. This is called a photocurrent.

Nanoparticles... well, to be honest, I don't completely understand. What I do know is that they are groups of molecules that are bunched together and then doped into things. Alone in a solution of hexane or whathaveyou, they are able to make wonderful luminescing liquids. Our goal is to dope, or put a very small percentage into the material, PLZT with various nanoparticles, from Prof. Plass' chemistry lab upstairs, and hopefully find that the conductance in the films have increased.

PLZT, or Lead (Pb) Lanthanum (La) Zirconium (Zr) Titanium (Ti) oxide, is a well known ferroelectric. James made a fresh batch this summer so we know who to blame if we can't get anything to work. In the PLZT, James refluxed in some copper sulfide nanoparticles for the first trails, and then cadmium selenide for the later trials. We hope that the nanoparticles will

increase the electron-hole pairs created by the photoelectric effect (the long explanation about photocurrents is basically called the photoelectric effect.... kinda).

To test if the nanoparticles are in there we set up the laser table for spectroscopy measurements. The final table we built is pictured to the right. We set a laser up to hit the sample after traveling 15 meters due to the mirrors, and we measure the spectrum that the sample gives off after being excited by the laser. James also can look for the particles in the data given by an XRD, or an x-ray diffraction. This will let us see what the sample is made up of. If we see a signature that looks like cadmium selenide or copper sulfide then we know they're in the film.

Another series of tests we do on the samples are electrical tests. We deposit the PLZT onto a special type of substrate, ITO coated glass. The ITO, indium tin oxide, film is a wonderful conductor and allows us to make capacitors out of our films. Well, that's what we wanted. These films are actually somewhat conductive and thus don't make good capacitors. None the less we can run our hysteresis loop tests (not even going to try to explain that in depth here) which basically shows how poled the sample is, and our IV curve tests. The IV curve simply plots voltage vs. current. This means that as you put a voltage across the sample you can plot how the current will rise or fall. Because the film acts like a basic linear resistor, we can use the relationship V= IR. Thus, the IV curve can tell us what the resistance is of the film.

That basically sums up what we've been doing in the lab for the last ten weeks. It's been fun yet frustrating at the same time. It has been a wonderful experience and I hope to continue next summer again. Up ahead are a few more pictures I took of the lab. Thanks for listening.

This is the three stage student-made vacuum pump system for the cryostat.

Evidence that we did a bit of math over the summer!

The ever-present dartboard. I got a bulls-eye!

James eating cheez-its.

Lasers are cool!

The Dream is Real

Inception.

Need I give more of an introduction? If you have not seen this movie yet, you should. I would advise against seeing it, though, if you hate good thrillers, mind puzzles, incredible acting, original plots, brilliant dialog and/or leaving the movie theater feeling completely immersed in the world the director and writer made for you.

Honestly Inception is one of the best, if not the best, movies I've ever had the pleasure of watching. The world they create is so... immense. Each level they go into in the dream is a completely new world full of different imaginative twists and turns. Each level is so wonderfully flushed out and retains incredible depth. Never before has a movie made me so nervous throughout the entire film. Nervous not because I was scared but rather I was so jacked up on adrenaline that I could not physically keep myself calm. As soon as I stepped out of the movie theater I couldn't stop smiling. I also did not feel connected with reality for quite some time after. It probably sank in that I was out of the movie while I was eating dinner with Jennifer in between shows (we also saw The Sorcerer's Apprentice, but that's my last post. If you didn't read it all, conclusion: great fantasy movie offering something for all ages).

The movie revolves around Leo DiCaprio's character, Dom Cobb, and his unconventional profession; dream extraction. In short, he became an reconnaissance agent that goes into people's dreams and steals ideas, secrets or other personal information from his victims. His unorthodox career has stripped him of everything he loves in his life. His home, his wife, his children. But suddenly an employer offers to set everything in his life back to normal for one last job. Inception. It's never been done (supposedly). Instead of extracting an idea from a victim's mind, the employer wants Cobb to plant an idea. He needs to assemble the best team in the business to do the impossible. But there is a complication even more dangerous than the task itself. Something is hiding in Cobb's subconscious that could sabotage the entire mission. Something that has been hidden for a while. Something he must confront to get out of this alive.

Wow... just rereading this makes me think I should get a job writing the synopsis paragraphs on the back of DVD cases. Maybe I just have a huge ego. Whatevs....

The cast is absolutely superb. This movie oozes with terrific acting and amazing subtleties that will make the movie new each time you watch it. The plot is nothing short of elaborate. This means that my dad will probably turn it off half way through because he has no idea what is going on. But that's just him. I honestly think that if you can follow the Star Wars movies, you'll be able to keep along with this one. While elaborate, the plot is perfectly twisted. Nothing is out of place in this movie. Every rule Christopher Nolan (writer, director and one of the producers) creates for his movie is followed to a tee. The cinematography is also fantastic, creating intense shots of action, touching shots of emotion between Cobb and his wife, Mal, and, quite frankly, dreamlike shots of Joseph Gordon-Levitt floating weightlessly in hotel elevator shafts and such.

It's logical, brilliant, and every so tasty. I tried to think of adjectives to describe this movie, after seeing it. My instant thought was that it was juicy. I wanted to say that the movie was like candy, something you could just eat up. The thing is, candy has the connotation that it is simply surface, one-level satisfaction. And Inception is anything but that. Thinking for a while, I realized that this movie was like a thick juicy steak. Everyone can enjoy it but connoisseurs will savor the taste a little more. And just like a steak has many dimensions of flavor, taste, and succulence, so does this movie. Thus the movie is a wonderfully prepared juicy steak for audiences.

This is just a little interview with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Ellen Page. No particular purpose other than I love these two in the movie and I think they're pretty great behind the scenes as well.

That's about it for now. I said it once, I'll say it again. This movie is amazing. Literally one of the best movies I have ever seen. Please go see it.

Magic is Science in Disguise

This past weekend was chock full of movies for Jennifer and myself. We decided to use the wonderful birthday gift my parents gave me (some movie gift cards) on a double feature. Sorcerer's Apprentice and Inception (next post, don't worry). Long afternoon/night, but so incredibly worth it.

Disney could have done so much worse on Sorcerer's Apprentice. In fact, I'll even say that it was quite good. Honestly, I love fantasy films that are kinda set in the modern world. The story revolves around the life of Dave Stutler, an average guy who attends NYU for physics (you can see why I liked this movie. It gets better). As a kid, he accidentally stumbles into a mysterious shop and receives a dragon ring from Balthazar Blake, one Nicolas Cage. Now a college student, Dave bumps into Balthazar again and he finds himself in the middle of a centuries old battle of sorcerers. He must become Balthazar's apprentice if the powers of good stand a chance of survival.

Not my best synopsis yet, but I think I'm getting better at it.

The plot does just enough for the movie to keep it fresh and new, while obviously using many tried and true magical archetypes. Terms such as the "Prime Merlinian" kinda sounded cheesy but I can forgive that. The special effects were very nice to see. Although they weren't the cutting edge stuff you see in movies like Avatar (Dances With Wolves but with blue cat people), it was real enough to add the necessary fantasy element to it. Also the effects worked well with the actors and seemed to really be in-tune with their movements.

The thing that I enjoyed the most with this movie is it's connection with science. It attempts to ground this mystical art in physics and chemistry. A few posts ago, I posted a video of Balthazar talking to Dave about how a basic fire spell works. It all has to do with science and I truly enjoy that. The writers evidently knew a bit about physics when they wrote a pretty cool scene where Dave programs his tesla coils to vibrate at distinct frequencies, replicating a song that his love interest played on her radio show the night before. Obviously the girl was impressed and so was I. The directors knew a little about physics too. They made sure that Dave always went into a faraday cage before turning his coils on.

The only major slip up they made was at the conclusion of the movie. There is a large battle scene in which Dave "magically" makes a ring of park lights turn into a giant series of tesla coils. 1. This isn't possible. 2. It felt somewhat contrived. It seemed that the writers had no idea how the battle was going to work out so they pulled out some movie magic excuse and employed it here. How should Dave beat the villain? Oh, by employing something that we've been shoving at the audience since the very beginning! Eh.... not what I had hoped for.

Nicolas Cage actually doesn't suck in this movie. I apologize to all who read this who enjoy his acting. Personally, he just rubs me the wrong way and the only movie I've seen that I thought he was amazing in was Moonstruck. Fabulous. But he does a wonderful job in Sorcerer's Apprentice. He's edgy and gritty enough to kick ass but isn't a jerk. And the actor who plays Dave, Jay Baruchel, is truly perfect for his part. He's a master of awkward situations yet is secretly awesome inside. As I write this, I'm realizing that he actually never did that much magic throughout the movie. The most he does is at the very, very end. If there will be a sequel, I would hope that his magical skills are developed more.

Overall, I enjoyed this movie quite a bit. There is something for every type of audience member. Adults will get things that kids won't even see, and vise versa. Disney could have done much worse with this one.

Oh and if you do see this movie, look for the Star Wars reference. Truly my favorite part of the movie.

The Salem Witch Trials Are New All Over Again

I just finished an incredible book last night. It took me a bit to get through but was well worth it in the end. The book is call "The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane." Quite a title if you ask me. Jennifer and I were in Barnes & Noble a few months ago and we wandered over to the new authors section. She saw this book and after reading the inside cover decided to buy it. Normally I would caution against such a rash decision, especially since the book was hardcover and that's quite an investment. If she were to read this though she would comment "Hardcovers really help new authors out. Paperbacks are great but the author really doesn't see a lot of that money. And if you're a rising author you need every penny you can get to continue writing." So she got the hardcover andI just smiled. Less than a month later she had announced to me that she had finished her book after starting it a week or two after buying it. She told me it was really enjoyable and that she thought I would enjoy it. At first I wasn't sure if I would. I was still skeptical of the book just because she didn't really know anything about it before she bought it besides what was in the front flap of the jacket. Those jackets can be quite deceiving sometimes.

About a month ago when I was visiting home, I stopped by her house to watch a movie with her. After the movie we decided that it was late enough that I should be heading out, but not before I raided her bookshelf for a few pieces of literature. This was only fair since she had raided mine a while ago. Amongst my finds were "V for Vendetta" (Amazing!) and the aforementioned "The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane." V took me literally two days to read and was absolutely fabulous. I then read the first volume of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Brilliant. Alan Moore is a genius and a freaking loony at the same time.

Anyways... I then started reading "Deliverance Dane" and fell in love with it within three chapters. The first few chapters are indeed slow but necessary. I didn't understand why details were being so flushed out at first until I was half way through the story. The story follows two women, Connie Goodwin and Deliverance Dane (and her daughter and her daughter's daughter and so on) through their lives. Connie is a Harvard grad student working towards her PhD. in history. Her story takes place in 1991. Deliverance's tale follows her in the late seventeenth century. She is a puritan living in Salem. During the witch trials. You can probably see where this is going....

The book uses the different view points as a sort of device to break up the action within the main plot line. In the first half of the book, the reader longs for the "interlude" chapters, or those chapters which take them back to Deliverance and her descendants' time. In the second half of the book, the author, Katherine Howe, uses the "time travel" technique to break up the action of Connie's story as things start to piece together for her. It's wonderfully maddening as the story starts to roll faster and faster down its slippery slope towards its climax and eventual conclusion.

The best part about this book is simply the writing. The characters are real. Their interactions are real. Besides the fantastical elements of this book, the situations are real. I loved reading this book not because it had a wonderfully compelling plot and used interesting and gripping techniques. No, I thoroughly enjoyed this book because I could relate to the characters and situations and truly feel what they felt. Miss Howe is an incredible writer and I am quite anxious to see what she writes next.

http://www.physickbook.com/

This is her website, by the way. Very intriguing. Hope you get the chance to read it.

Birbiglbug, Birbigliogrophy.....

I really don't know what to say on this post. It's really not about what I have to say this time but rather the video that is attached at the bottom. This is a clip from This American Life, a wonderful radio show on NPR, where Mike Birbiglia talks about his adventures with sleep. It's about 13 minutes but its hysterical so I definitely urge you to listen to it.

Apple Pie a la Mode

So as I sit here waiting for the championship of the world cup to commence, I feel relaxed after a wonderful weekend so far. Jennifer invited me to Gettysburg to look for apartments with her father, and we were able to set aside some time to watch a few movies. I'll tell you what, there is nothing better than apple pie a la mode with a cup of coffee in a dinner in the middle of Gettysburg. Well nothing more American that is. The only thing that ruined it a bit was that there was a huge biker rally that day. Nothing against bikers honestly. It's just very noisy. Some very cool bikes though.

Anyways. We got to rent a few movies. The Book of Eli, The Wolfman, and Unleashed.

The Book of Eli was surprisingly good. Going into it i had only seen a few trailers and they didn't really explain anything about the movie besides the fact that Denzel Washington has a book and Gary Oldman wants it. Most of the first 20-30 minutes of the movie is very sparse with dialog, yet you got to know Washington's character, Eli, very well. The movie did a wonderful job taking very little and turning it into so much. Shrouded in semi-mystery, most of the movie I had no idea what was going on. Everything comes together in the last 10-20 minutes turning all the building confusion into pure awe. I won't say to much more in fear of spoiling the movie for anyone who reads this (which probably may only be myself) who hasn't seen it.

The Wolfman was .... really bad as far as a dramatic movies go. But that was the thing. It attempted to be both a dramatic movie but also an action/slasher movie. The two, with very few exceptions, are mutually exclusive genres in my mind. So, even as an action/slasher movie it really didn't do it for me. The story was so basic, the acting was barely passable and in conjunction with the unmotivated violence, the movie was nothing more but a good conversation piece. Hugo Weaving and Anthony Hopkins really made the movie watchable. Oh and why silver. I've never understood that. I just would love to hear why silver bullets kill warewolves in, in albeit fake, scientific terms. But that's just a personal concern.

Unleashed was actually very good. It was able to turn a martial arts action movie into a semi-dramatic movie. This is one of those exceptions I mentioned in my last paragraph. Jet Li mad the movie come to life with decent acting and terrific martial arts. Jet Li is just an amazing person.

Sigh.

This world cup game is not really going anywhere. I suppose I'm rooting for Spain but neither team is much of a draw for me.

All in all... it was a good weekend.

Together in the Darkness

lying in my arms

i gently kiss your forehead

drifting off to sleep

Apprenticeship Never Sounded So Good

Please take a look at this amazing clip!

After seeing this clip last night (courtesy of Jennifer), I am so pumped for this movie. Not only are the action scenes wonderfully imaginative (so far) but the special effects look wonderful! Last year I saw "Push," a wonderful movie about those among us who have the ability to manipulate objects and minds around them. The effects for that movie were subtle enough that they looked quasi-real, yet still fantastic enough that it retained its fantasy/sci-fi core. These effects emulate that same philosophy; make it look like it could happen but still make it badass.

Normally I'm not one for Nicolas Cage (save for "Moonstruck") but this looks absolutely amazing. I'm also fascinated by the use of "science" in the second clip (below). I myself love when sci-fi/fantasy authors use science to explain why things happen in their world. Of course most times the science is more of a pseudoscience at best, but it means so much to me that they try.

All in all this looks like it's going to be a fantastic film, and I cannot wait to see it. Hopefully it won't be as much as a flop as "Airbender" was. I shudder as I think about the epicness of that fail....

I Screw Things Up Sometimes

tangled up kisses

awkward embraces we share

you put up with me

A Firebender's Paradise

It was 100 degrees yesterday.... 38 Celsius. So far its 94 today, and rising. It's simply too hot. There is rarely a breeze and coming out of the lab it literally feels like I'm walking into the oven where we heat our samples. I know I'm complaining about things that are out of my control and honestly aren't that bad.... but it's just too hot.

I recently saw the movie "The Last Airbender." I love the show but the movie was an atrocity. I know everyone is blaming Shyamalan for the disaster since he was a "triple fail" (writer, director, & producer). But I really only could blame him for the writing. His script was the worst piece of writing I have seen in a very long time. As far as directing.... sure there were a few minor things here and there, but I would argue that if the script had been written by ... say the original writers (which seems like the first obvious choice to write the script) then his direction would have been better, hopefully. Personally I think he's a fine producer and maybe should just stick to that from now on.

Anyways.... what pissed me off probably the most about this movie is that the firebenders are unable to "create" fire themselves. In the movie they must have an external source of fire around to bend. Ummm... what? The whole reason they are so powerful in the series is that they are not limited to the environment around them. Waterbenders must have water. Earthbenders must have stone or earth. Airbenders are kinda similar to firebenders in that they can basically bend no matter their surroundings, but that's just because there's air just about everywhere. But yeah this "twist" Shyamalan evidently thought of is just a slap in the face to the show. Fire is simply energy being released from chemical bonds in wood, gasoline or any other flammable substance. In a more philosophical approach, which I feel this show is centered on, fire can be thought of an extension of your own energy. Being able to generate internal energy from your breath an then expelling it as fire. To me, it just seems very logical why the creators of Avatar (not the freaking blue cat-people movie) made firebenders able to create their own fire. Uncle Iroh even says to Zuko,

"No! Power in firebending comes from the breath. Not the muscles. The breath becomes energy in the body.The energy extends past your limbs and becomes fire."

It just frustrates me when things are changed in movie adaptations when there is no reason whatsoever to change them. Sigh....

Now that that rant is over, I probably should get back to the happenings of my lab. Trying to pole some commercial ferroelectric polymers deposited on FTO coated glass. Not working so far. I really hope it does cool down outside soon, though.

Capacitor of the Heart

a capacitor

that never sheds its stored charge

my love only grows

Rulers of the World

I am saving the world. I am its savior and soon all shall bow to me in appreciation. I, in co-rulership with my lab partner, James, shall reign over the hunk of rock we call Earth, our home. I wish this is how my summer research job would turn out. In fact, I would even be satisfied by getting my damn equipment to function properly. But alas, this is not the life of a researcher. Nay, the life of the a scientist.